My Grandma Louch
So, this week was hard. I cried for two days straight.
My grandma died on October 15th.
My childhood memories of her were seeing her every holiday and a few times in between, but definitely every holiday. We had big meals with my cousins, and she would always make cherry cheesecake because it was my dads favourite. Even if someone else requested blueberry, or something else, she would make that...and cherry cheesecake. She also knew the kids loved strawberries covered in sugar!
Mostly though I remember the adults talking in the living room with the kids playing in another room, but sometimes we would mix. I remember playing games of crokinole, sorry, cards and playing with that little triangle peg game. For some reason, I also remember our visits being on Sunday night. We would watch The Wonderful World of Disney after a long day of visiting and Fraggle Rock and then head home.
When I was little my grandparents had a cottage that we would go to every summer. I can still see all the rooms in my head. I remember going to the cottage and one of the days while we were there we would go to Sauble water park where the water slides were cement and very scratchy but we loved it anyway as we slid down on our carpets. I remember playing at the beach and catching frogs and doing frog races if you can imagine! I remember my grandma's curly grandma hair, and how I knew she appreciated every visit.
There were bumps though... my parents got divorced at the time I was figuring out who I was as an adult and I think there was about ten years where I didn't see or talk with my grandma. I went away for school, started a new job, and I was figuring out my life as my own adult and it made visiting awkward. However, one day, I woke up and said... this is silly. I can call her and talk about me and her stuff and not about my parents. So, I did. I don't remember when it was exactly, but I remember doing it.
The first call was awkward for both of us, but we fumbled through. I put it in my calendar to call monthly. I made this happen for about a year and then... she started calling me. We have talked on the phone for years now, and I am so thankful for those calls. I only saw her once or twice a year, but from years of nothing, this was good. She even came to my backyard 40th birthday party. This is such a special memory for me.
In the past year, calls were difficult, with falls, slurred speech, hospital stays, and her moving. However, we still talked monthly until her phone was taken away about a month ago. She was calling people in the middle of the night repeatedly, cancelling things like her oxygen, and doing things that would cause more harm than good. So, her phone was taken. Sadly, with this, and hospital stays, and moving to the nursing home, and Covid-19, this meant that I had my last call with my grandma about a month ago, and of course, I didn't know it would be my last call.
I have made the very difficult decision to not attend her small service with all the Covid-19 restrictions.
My heart is sad. 2020 is tough.
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